“I commit to healing what is ready to be healed…” this powerful phrase has been rattling around in my mind and psyche this week. I encountered it in a coaching program I am currently taking which is all about how to embody your brand as a woman and better enjoy your business and serve your clients. (I love to learn knew things! And one of the ways I stay in alignment as a coach is to invest in my own growing edges in the same ways that I invite clients to do in my 8 step Flourish program and retreats.)
What I appreciate the most about this phrase is that it gives us agency. On the one hand growth requires a commitment on our own behalf.
But at the same time it suggests that not everything is ready to be healed within us all at the same time.
We get to be human and enjoy this journey of evolving.
And when certain experiences combine: bringing together our outer circumstances and our inner life — we simply let the healing happen.
I felt super aware of this dimension of “right timing” to the growth journey this week as I engaged in my first full-blown photo shoot as part of the new website/brand I am creating for the Flourish Formula book and program.
Historically, this kind of attention would have totally triggered my “Performer/Achiever” Enneagram personality type. And of course there was some of that that came up over the two day shoot. But mostly, I really enjoyed myself and felt super grateful to my photographer Margie for her leadership and photo skillz and my husband for the support. (Including buying armfuls of tropical fruit from the market and documenting the process. Look for some really fun behind the scenes pics from the shoot next week, some involve me in a kayak!) The whole experience showed me how far I have come from feeling like I have to mold myself into someone else for the social validation.
Instead I have come to understand that I can share who I am with less fear and more joy. And far from having to pretend I am an expert or perfectly happy all the time, the more honest I am about the struggles (as well as the strategies I have learned which metabolize the stress) the more women trust me as a coach and guide through their own change process. (Something, by the way, which we all need. None of us were made to go through these inner metamorphoses alone. We have to be proactive about finding the teachers and resources which assist us in our growth.)
I actually teared up when Margie showed me this picture after snapping it on the steps of the San Francisco Church in Granada. We had been taking some portraits and then she told me to look to the side and for Rich to make me laugh, which he did and she captured the shot above.
She showed me this picture as we walked to our next spot and I was so struck by it — like I could see that a disconnect I have felt inside for a long time was syncing up. Healing from the inside out.
As a girl I remember feeling so naturally joyful. My parents said I had an amazing deep belly laugh as a toddler. But like many of us I got good at playing various parts and somehow lost the connection to that playful spirit.
What a huge gift to have that captured on film and mirrored back to me: not the pushing, striving, or trying. Just the joy.
Now ten years ago when I began to work with the Enneagram I wouldn’t have been ready for this healing. Nor five years ago. But this week it came. And felt so very sweet for the wait.
What about you–
What in you is ready to be healed?
Perhaps you wouldn’t have been ready for it before — but now find that you can hold that challenging situation with your family member with a lighter touch?
Or soften your own perfectionist tendencies when it comes to trying meditation or a new presence practice?
Or are willing to sidestep the self-critique and finally press “publish” on your new website?
Wherever the healing wants to come in I hope you let it. Now is the time.
Love and all the good,
PS Would you like some help figuring out your Enneagram type or to learn more about the coaching support I offer? I have opened some space for a limited number of complementary Discovery Sessions in the next few weeks. Now that Summer is over and you can take a breath, why not schedule a conversation that is just for you? A space to talk about what is stirring and where you would like to go? I’d love to talk more. Book your free session here.
Courtney Pinkerton, M.Div & M.PP, is a holistic life coach and the founder of Bird in Hand Coaching. She holds dual masters degrees from Harvard Divinity School and Harvard Kennedy School and is the creator of the 8 step FLOURISH Coaching program. Courtney loves hosting retreats for women in nature and beauty-drenched locales, her next one will be held in Granada, Nicaragua October 20-23rd. In live events and through her coaching Courtney helps busy women unlock their greatest gifts and thrive in their personal lives. This summer she moved to Nicaragua with her husband Richard Amory and their three children where together they are exploring volcanic islands, colonial cities, and area beaches to find their perfect spot to land. Interested to learn more about her FLOURISH coaching program or upcoming retreat? You can schedule your complimentary discovery session here.
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Coming this Fall!