We are back from Costa Rica with our cats and I am so happy to be back in your inbox. Today I have created a special FB Live Video for you about how to create lasting change without pushing your way there. You can also read the transcript below.
And I want to let you know that I have a handful of free coaching calls remaining in August. I would love to talk with you about creating lasting change in your life.
Today I want to share with you one of the main questions I get asked and one of the main challenges I see working with clients, which is how to make lasting change.
It can feel like a mystery to figure out how to make the changes we hope for without relying on old habits of pushing, striving or forcing our way there. This is what I want to share with you today.
First, a quick story: Last night we couldn’t find our kitten Quinn and I was losing it. I couldn’t imagine we had gone all the way back to Nicaragua to retrieve her only to have her get out and lost in the woods behind our house. It was an uncomfortable fifteen minutes before we finally discovered her behind the washing machine.
After we found her, all the little and big things that had been bothering me felt like so much less of a burden. As I hopped into the shower and got ready for bed I felt present, content and grateful. Buoyed by the relief of having found my cat I had fresh eyes to appreciate my life as it is, with all that there is still yet to do.
One of my favorite authors Thich Nhat Hanh talks about this concept of having a non-headache. If you have ever had a headache and then had the experience of going to sleep and waking up without it, you know how the world feels brand new.
What I like about this approach is it is a sideways door into gratitude. Gratitude can feel forced or contrived. And I totally get it. But lasting change must be rooted in an awareness and appreciation of the good that is already happening in your life.
Meaning if you think I must change X external (job, location, partner) to feel OK inside myself that thought actually drains the energy you need to make the changes you hope for.
Instead we nee,d to shift that habit from looking outside and reorient it inside. Taking stock of the parts of your life where you naturally feel alive, happy and present will help us to grow this feeling. Even if your social self is unimpressed with these happy moments and thinks they are not “enough.”
Try it right now. Make a list of 5-10 things you are genuinely grateful for. It could be your friends, the special cup of coffee in the morning, flexibility in your job, your healthy children, or the beauty and green of high summer around you. This recognition of what naturally makes you come alive is the root for making lasting change.
Then step two is a holy edit. Now we turn to the rest of your life and ask where can you enact some beautiful boundaries? Where can you risk saying no to things that don’t appeal to you any more, like commitments that are no longer in alignment with who you are now. The holy edit is going to free energy you can direct toward the changes you desire.
Step three is focused, inspired action. Whatever goals or priorities you have for this next level of your life let’s break them into concise, targeted steps. Having a coach or an accountability buddy is hugely helpful here. Creating lasting change is so much more doable if you complete and celebrate turtle or tiny steps along the way.
PS Did you skip to the end? Here is the link to schedule a free coaching call. I have a handful of spots remaining this month and would love to support you in creating lasting change. xo
The Flourish Formula is now available in print! 50% of the proceeds go to support Nicaraguan projects like UP Nicaragua, a mentoring program for girls, which are helping to create a more just and beautiful world. Summer reading, anyone?Order your copy here. (And thank you to everyone who already has!)
Also I’ve been getting some questions from international readers.
Amazon does have European options. For example here is the link for the UK, and Spain. If Amazon is not available in your country or that printing option doesn’t work well for you, please email us at email@example.com and we will happily work out a way to get the print book directly in your hands.
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