This week I have been thinking a lot about kids. Not just my kids but all our kids. And the world that I want them to live in. I dedicate my work to helping women create an inner scaffolding: a custom resource kit of mind-body and coaching tools which help them contribute the best they have to this world AND enjoy themselves fully. No more eating themselves on the inside to accomplish on the outside.

But what about our kids?

What if rather than having to learn to trade in the gold star economy instead we could implant the message into their tender growing BONES that they are loved for who they are.

Not what they do.

Not how shiny and likable they are, on social media or anywhere else.

What if there was no need for them to enter the overachiever recovery program?

Because they weren’t raised up to perform or excel but instead equipped to take the exquisite risk of attending to their deepest self, their soul or essence, and allowing that to grow and express itself in their real life. Day by day. Hour by hour.

Now I’m not talking about only raising tender-skinned little ones with no grit and follow through.

Quite to the contrary I think we will see these children of ours make contributions to the planet we can’t even IMAGINE when they don’t have to spend so much extra energy figuring out what those things are.

Because they get to be seen and nurtured for who they AUTHENTICALLY are from the get go.

Not the people that others around them (parents, teachers, coaches, pastors) want them to be. And their passions can get traction. And the pain load and blind spots they carry into adulthood can be so much lighter.

Kaboom. Let’s do it.

Let’s make that world for all the children we know.

Because this is a kind of freedom I want for every young person.

And thank the sweet heavens we don’t have to make this up ourselves. We have each inherited an amazing personality tool called the Enneagram which has the power to show our kids that there is a road map. A pattern. A way of understanding the unique person that they are growing to be. A guide they can trust.

If you would like a taste of what I’m talking about click here for a free gift: Class One from a course I co-taught called Parenting with the Enneagram. Here’s a taste of what we cover:

  • How to use the Enneagram to create space in your relationship with your child
  • How to allow your child to discover + claim their own personality type
  • The journey of human development– birth to adulthood.
  • What the Helper personality energy (Enneagram type two) looks like in children
  • Developmental stages and other considerations that can mimic this personality energy
  • A parenting prescription for working with helper energy in toddler/preschool age, school age, preteen + teenage children
  • A centering practice to aid helper children reset when stress builds
  • And a PDF action sheet with concrete recommendations, exercises, and practices to integrate lessons into everyday life.

We need NON parents to help with this too because when you are up super close to your kid, helping keep them fed and watered and everything else, it can be hard sometimes to see that soul glimmer shine through.

But the art teacher can catch it. Or the aunt. The neighbor with time for a spacious conversation. Or the grandparent or volunteer.

So if you have any kids you love in your life I invite you to grab this free gift. And I’ll be back in touch with more details about a course I’m teaching for the first time LIVE this fall: The Flourish Formula for Kids.

I’m taking the 8 super powerful mindbody and mindset tools from my new book The Flourish Formula (including the Enneagram) and sharing my best strategies for how you can use them with children. Let’s pass all this goodness down a generation, shall we?

So the kids in our crazy world can ease their anxiety. Feel peaceful as they go to bed. Wake up feeling whole and ready for the day. Reset easily when they get knocked over. And savor their own wild and precious life.

Please share this free gift with anyone you think might enjoy it. I want this invitation to go far and wide.


Xo Courtney

The Flourish Formula is now available in print! 50% of the proceeds go to support Nicaraguan projects like UP Nicaragua, a mentoring program for girls, which are helping to create a more just and beautiful world. Order your copy here. (And thank you to everyone who already has!)

Also I’ve been getting some questions from international readers.

Amazon does have European options. For example here is the link for the UK, and Spain. If Amazon is not available in your country or that printing option doesn’t work well for you, please email us at and we will happily work out a way to get the print book directly in your hands.

xo Courtney


Courtney Pinkerton is a certified holistic life coach and the author of the Amazon bestseller, The Flourish Formula: An Overachiever’s Guide to Slowing Down & Accomplishing More. Courtney is a student and a teacher of the Enneagram who has helped hundreds of conscious women, and a few inspiring men, pursue their most salient goals and discover more pleasure in the everyday. She has dual master’s degrees from Harvard Divinity School and Harvard Kennedy School, is the creator of the flourish coaching methodology and the Flourish Formula for Families. After selling their house and all their belongings and spending a year adventuring in Nicaragua tutored by their neighbors in the art of slowing down and living more, Courtney and her husband Richard Amory and their three children are making their new home in a co-housing community in Asheville, North Carolina.





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