Parenting with the Enneagram: The BackStory on this eCourse



Setta in LapUntil you finally get so frustrated you decide to make it yourself?

Starting in 2009 I began searching for good resources for using the Enneagram in my family. This search accelerated after my third child Rosetta (pictured here) was born in 2010 and I navigated a time of big personal + professional transition, ultimately leaving a salaried position to enter entrepreneurial life. During this time I attended numerous Ennea trainings –both with a local Ennea Master and traveling to Colorado for workshops on the Enneagram and spiritual and somatic (body) awareness.  I read Enneagram books, only a couple of which could I find about the enneagram and parenting, yet I hungered for more detailed guidance in how not just to learn the Enneagram as a tool for personal growth but how to actually live it in everyday parenting moments. Especially the hard ones.

So much of the enneagram material at first seemed negative– it made me feel as a mom that I hoped my children could remain in the open state of their infancy and not need to ever develop an ego or defense system. Clearly there had to be more to the picture–including gifts for my children in the development of their type.

A turning point came for me in a training on how the Enneagram lives in our minds/bodies as neural pathways in which I learned a meditation (which I am sharing in this course) for working with physical + emotional pain in the body. It quickly became one of the most popular tools I shared with coaching clients and one afternoon, in a pinch, I found myself sharing it with my son. He was then six years old.

Coleman had fallen and was in a real moment of physical and psychological pain– with a deep gash on his knee. He was hurting but he was also afraid of his pain (or so it seemed to me) as I saw him panic and seem to  want to climb out of his body. So I showed him how to breathe, find an inner resource, and to use that to slowly eat the sensations of pain inside him. It worked. He felt so much more calm and able to be with himself in the moment as we tended to his deep scrape. And multiple times since then he brings up this practice, coaching himself through it, and even reminding his sisters that they have the power to use it.

This meditation is an example of Enneagram wisdom put to use in real life. And through various other experiments my children have taught me how to use what I know about the Enneagram to aid them in their development. Not needing to type them, I will leave that to them when they are older (Coleman, now age 8, is probably very close to ready to choose his own. I just haven’t gone there yet…) But by observing them and their habitual patterns, especially their “go to” emotion: whether that be anger, fear or sadness/shame, the Enneagram nourishes my parental instincts + points me in the right direction. It gives me a roadmap for how to help my children develop their personalities with lots of freedom and space both from who they think I want them to be and from who they think they should be. My goal is simply they would have many doorways back into their essential nature or their soul, and be willing to use them when they need to reset. (The same goal I have actually for myself and for us all!)

Meeting Nancy at an Enneagram training was the second big “aha.” From the time we first starting talking I was drawn to her quiet wisdom and felt that she had one of the missing Enneagram pieces I was hungry to learn more about. As a mom of older children, tweenagers + teenages, as well as because of her professional skills as a licensed social worker, Nancy brings knowledge of the process of human development (how children grow and change with age) as well as practical tools for how to use the Enneagram in those distinct stages. Magic!

So this course comes as fruit of a five year journey. My goal is to offer the information in a way you can immediately put it into practice in your own lives and relationships. I want to live in a world where every child and her/his caregivers has access to this vital tool to fasttrack personal + relational growth. And I hope you will reach out with any questions + join me in the course!



Courtney + Tea TimeCourtney Pinkerton, M.Div & M.PP, is a holistic life coach and the founder of Bird in Hand Coaching. She holds dual masters degrees from Harvard Divinity School and Harvard Kennedy School, is the host of the Summer of Meditation Challenge and publishes a weekly e-newsletter on real-world mindfulness practices. Courtney teaches regularly on the Enneagram, meditation, and conscious approaches to leadership and parenting. She lives in Oak Cliff, Texas with her husband Richard Amory where they try to keep up with their three young children and remember to water their garden boxes. You can email Courtney directly at

Nancy_ bio picNancy Goodman is the founder of A Parent Connection and a licensed clinical social worker & EMDR practitioner who regularly teaches about the Enneagram + the mind/body connection. Passionate about helping people find freedom and peace, Nancy is also a mom of two who lives with her family in Denver, CO. You can read more about Nancy and her work at