You are Brave
This season I'm wondering how I can best help myself be present, moment by moment, to the fullness of life. I'm noticing what helps me remember to breathe (not just automatically) but really pausing to enjoy an exhale and letting my shoulders drop...
I’ve also been relistening to audio books by favorite inner life teachers, including Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh. And I’ve had the pleasure of editing my newest podcast episode with Caroline Vogel on meditation and mindfulness, which honestly really fed me (more on that in a sec).
One of the things I learned from another favorite teacher, Parker Palmer, is that people often think you write books because you know something. Because you are already an expert. And certainly, sometimes that is true, depending on the topic. But in his experience, he writes about the thing he can’t stop thinking about. He writes about the questions he holds. He writes his way into answers.
I’ve been thinking about that idea a lot lately as I took a little break half way through my Inner Ecology capsule podcast (with 5 episodes out and 5 more to come) to reflect on the creative process.
One of my favorite aspects of entrepreneurial life is creating -- coaching experiences, communities, content and resources -- which I hope feel mutual, supportive and respectful. And one of the most important messages I find myself wanting to say again and again in all these spaces is this: you are not crazy, you are just growing!
Because truthfully, in my experience both personally and working with clients over the years, the liminal stretch time can be so confusing. Especially if you are navigating a personal shift that both requires you to release an older version of your identity AND at the same time invites you to grow in a direction that maybe doesn’t match ‘normal’ or ‘successful’ in the dominant culture or ‘what I expected my life would look like’ territory.
Not only is it uncomfortable to grow, it can be really scary. But it is also so tremendously brave. And I think we need to pay attention to those inner nudges calling us into more authenticity and wholeness.
Painfully, many of us grow through these ages and stages, bravely stepping out of jobs, relationships, living situations, careers, even whole countries we hadn't planned to leave behind and into new identities, spaces, relationships, training programs, vocations, cultures, homes – with no one witnessing the work it takes to open to what is next.
I’m not sure why this is – why there can be real loneliness when we are growing, other than I think many people are working hard to make themselves feel OK in lives that don’t actually fit or feel that good to live in anymore. And so watching you go for it can be provocative for them.
Also, especially in the case of personal relationships, they may be a little bit attached to the person you were or maybe not even able to make sense of the person you are growing into. This experience is so common there is even a name for it in coaching: 'change back attack.'
But it is really important to be witnessed. We all need people in our lives who can see and hold space and encourage the person we are growing into. And even more importantly, we need to find easy, honest, effective ways to hold ourselves, to befriend ourselves and make ourselves feel seen and witnessed in our courage. This is the focus of my work in pretty much every form I can figure out how to share it: podcast, book, online coaching program, 1:1 coaching & retreats.
So back to the podcast. The journey of creating it is helping me to answer a question that really has its teeth in me. It is such a loud question in my heart and mind that I feel like I’ve been a little desperate looking for answers. Until I realized it was a question I couldn’t answer myself. So I turned to my community. And because I love the Enneagram and I love resources we can access and use to feel more grounded, awake and alive – I started inviting in the wisdom of colleagues and friends. I've chosen people for these conversations that I know are committed to their inner life and can be honest about the challenges and trials of whatever topic we explore. They also collectively bring a treasure-trove of experience, and professional skills. Structuring the podcast this way also gave me a chance to spotlight the perspectives and gifts of all nine Enneagram personality types, which has been deeply satisfying.
So what is the question?
The one I both can’t let go of and can’t answer by myself is this:
🌿What is the relationship between tending to our inner lives and healing the ecosystems we are part of? (Which in a way – because everything is connected - is the whole planet.)
I think there is also a second question:
🌿 ‘How can I 'do my part' to support the health of our beautiful green/blue planet without totally flooding my nervous system with stress at the state of things?’
Thankfully, each chance to interview someone (which I did over 2+ years) and now to edit these podcast episodes is helping me grow the vocabulary I need to have the conversation I want to be having about personal and planetary flourishing. (While I hope also providing some practical resources and strategies to help all of us manage stress and boost resiliency. So we can better navigate the collective challenges of being alive right now as so very many political and social systems are breaking down and evolving and also where so many extreme weather events are unfolding.)
For all of these reasons it strikes me as a wise moment to revisit mindfulness practices and their Buddhist underpinnings, which provide us the reminder that life is always changing. And that our denial of the truth of the transient nature of life actually generates a lot of our pain.
Whether we are talking about unexpected or painful changes or more quotidian or even positive changes: engaging them sincerely and with open eyes and heart -- that also takes courage. Even as we know the present moment is where all the joy and juiciness is (and Summer is such a great season to enjoy juiciness). The present also turns out to be where we access our capacity to do our best work.
So I’m very excited to share this next episode with you and in fact had hoped to publish it around Summer Solstice, but some other projects have recently required a lot of my creative energy, including the renovation of our bathroom. (It was my idea as part of a celebration for my upcoming milestone birthday and thankfully, we have a great general contractor. I'm sharing pictures of the green/blue Spanish ceramic fish scale tile I chose to anyone who will sit still, but honestly I had NO idea what I was getting into.)
Now that we are *almost* complete, I am so happy to share the newest podcast episode with you. In it Caroline Vogel and I talk about Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and explore a variety of practices that we can use in real life to calm reactivity, feel awake and resourced. Caroline also shares more of her story as someone who leads with Type Two (sometimes called the Helpers or the Givers of the Enneagram) and what has helped her to include herself in her circle of care. LISTEN HERE
Courtney
PS If you are in need of a good sticky note reminder/mantra for your desk or laptop maybe 'you are brave' will help you remember to give yourself credit for your courage.If you would like to learn more about my services, including private coaching, 1:1 Enneagram Typing & mentoring, and custom retreats, I offer a handful of free resource calls each month and you can schedule one HERE. You can also purchase my book, self-paced coaching program Sunshine in a Bottle or reach out with any questions about what is the right fit for you.
Courtney Pinkerton (she/her)
Courtney combines nature and coaching resources to help clients boost resiliency, avoid burnout and create their legacy work and lives. She is a is a certified Wayfinder coach and member of the Climate Coaching Alliance. Courtney holds Masters of Divinity and Public Policy from Harvard and is the author of the Amazon best-seller The Flourish Formula: An Overachiever's Guide to Slowing Down and Accomplishing More. She lives with her husband and three teenagers on Apple Balm Tiny Farm near Asheville, North Carolina.
